How Achievable Goals Are Part Of Dreaming Big

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For most of our lives, we are asked to compromise our dreams, our values, our hopes for the future, and to learn to live with what we don't actually want. This is called "being reasonable." The assumption that this is based on is that we 'should' fit in, do what others do, not stand out.  

So is it any wonder that we often feel unfulfilled, burdened and trapped.  But our life-spirit doesn't compromise. It didn't make any bargains about avoiding frustration by settling for less than they wanted.

Sadly it is often hard to know how to create the life we actually do want.

As Robert Fritz taught me : Is it reasonable to give up before you have had a chance to see what you truly want, and before any learning has taken place about how to move from here to there? I would say that is unreasonable, the closing of doors before you have thought it through compromises one of your most important human instincts, the desire to create something that matters to you.

The way to approach this question is by separating out what you want from what you think is possible. This is critical.  What you learn is that you can have more and more of what you want to create by a solid strategy in which the actions that you take build a foundation for the next. Over time and learning and experience, you are in a different position than you once were. One in which you are more able to create what you want to.

Recently someone asked me:

"—Bridget – I understand you advocate dreaming big, not settling for a compromise, not confusing what we want with what we COULD have…,but you also recommend setting "achievable" goals! How does that work?

I suggested:

You cannot and I think should not compromise on your aspirations nor your values.  It is my belief that organising our lives around our highest aspirations and deepest values leads to a truly fulfilling life.  I see goals as part of the game, the journey if you like.   When I first started setting goals I made them very big (I thought that made them inspiring) .  What I found was the opposite.  They were so big I did not have the skills or capacity to achieve them so they worked in reverse.  

Not achieving them made me feel bad.   

So I see goals as part of the journey.  I set achievable goals aligned with my highest aspirations and deepest values and as I achieve each one I know I am on the road to creating what I truly want.

What is reasonable therefore is to learn how to create what you truly want without compromise. What is not reasonable is to surrender without ever having a chance to explore the fullness of your life-spirit, your creative nature, and your highest aspirations and values.

 

 

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2 responses to “How Achievable Goals Are Part Of Dreaming Big”

  1. Go to Top Aline Munsch

    I used to set big goals and think I had to achieve them 'yesterday', expecting the impossible of myself, only to then repeatedly be disappointed, frustrated, locked in critical judgments of myself. Recently gave myself a break from trying to achieve anything, exclusively focusing on dismantling the outdated belief structure in my personality, allowing a higher perspective from my being/soul level to run the show, healing from the false belief  and in the process regaining renewed appetite to set course towards my big vision for what is possible.

  2. Go to Top bridget marsh

    Yes Aline I think that is what I mean when I say live your values and your highest aspirations — these come from your soul, at least I feel they do for me.    
    My highest aspirations lead me towards a future where joy is our north star.

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